Friday, April 12, 2013

Wasp Liquor

From Neatorama:

Surprisingly, the benefits of drinking this filthy brew [shouchuu] are said to include beautiful skin, recovery from fatigue, and the prevention of “lifestyle disease,” where repetition of your daily habits leads to sickness and depression. So, it would seem that — provided you can push past the look, smell, and taste of it — this drink is really quite good for you! We’re told that it’s in extremely high demand in Taiwan, of all places.

Um, what about the benefit of gaining the strength of Japanese Giant Hornets, which are some of the most badass insects on our planet? A single hornet can kill 40 honey bees PER MINUTES. It only takes a squadron of 30 to take down a hive of 30,000 (although the honey bees have developed an ingenious thermal defense to cope with the hornets). The hornets dismember their bee victims, taking the torsos back to their hive to feed to their children. Their stinger is a quarter inch. Imagine someone stabbing you with a sharpened pencil, except the pencil is busting with venom. The Japanese Giant Hornet is the MOST DEADLY ANIMAL in all of Japan, killing some 40 people annually. 

I don't envy the person who has to harvest these wasps. I would probably just tape up all the vents in my car and tear through a hot alley on garbage day. Although, when an insect that's built like a two inch airborne Abrams Tank is involved, cracked windshields seem like they could be a problem.

If the liquor is as popular as the article states it is, then the demand for hornets must be high. Anyone wants to go in on a new start-up? You Only Live Once enterprises? You have to be willing to go after whole hives, and the only safety equipment we have is a Houston Oilers sweatshirt and a paintball mask. Oh, and it's BYOH: Bring Your Own Hammer. But don't smush the hornets. Just try to knock them unconscious. We're looking to expand to scorpions in the future.

You think that there's no way all the stingers could be removed. Someone's getting stabbed in the tongue by a hornet corpse. 

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